An attractive young woman who just moved into NYC from Canada said her roommate has a 7 date rule and thinks it's ridiculous. She says women should have sex on the first date if she's attracted to the guy and not follow rigid rules. Anyone have an opinion?
September 28 at 1:03am via Facebook for iPhone · Comment · Like / Unlike
You, Van Nguyen and Geoffrey J Gowey like this.
Anonymous
The longer you go without sex the more you telegraph: "I don't really have anything to offer you and as soon as you have sex with me you'll realize that."
September 28 at 1:09am · Delete
Anonymous
i love it. but the key here is "if we end up having sex and he never calls me back, thank god I didn't waste more than 1 date on this judgemnetal prude" making the assumption that this is a girl who knows how to "deliver" high octane lovin'. if you can't deliver in the bedroom - you better be waering thousand dolllar shoes. (thats a joke) there's no substitute for great sex.
September 28 at 1:35am · Delete
Cass Almendral
Cass Almendral
A woman once told me that since we'd be risking our lives by having sex i'd better be serious. Hence the rules!
September 28 at 1:49am · Delete
Kat Hollander
Kat Hollander
yawn...
September 28 at 1:52am · Delete
Geoffrey J Gowey
Geoffrey J Gowey
"risking our lives"? was she afraid her husband was going to walk in with a shotgun?
September 28 at 1:56am · Delete
Cass Almendral
Cass Almendral
Kat, I take it "yawn..." means you're with the 7 date rule.
September 28 at 2:03am · Delete
Anonymous
why base actions on some archaic societal standard? allow the relationship to reveal itself - it may take a man 1 date, or it may take 10. my thought is that there should be no standard.
September 28 at 2:12am · Delete
Anonymous
I disagree with Melcolm...the longer you wait, the better the...you know what :)
September 28 at 5:12am · Delete
Alayna Tagariello Francis
Alayna Tagariello Francis
Geoffrey: risking your life - AIDS? STDs//??? hello?
September 28 at 7:05am · Delete
Olga Viakhireva
Olga Viakhireva
It all depends what you want
I assume most women wants to be loved or at least admired (could be for one night or many nights as long as you feel amazing energy- it works for a women)
However very rare the energy and chemistry connects in that way of amazing attaction and passion from the first sight – may be on scale from 1-100 –it Is 1 out of ... Read More100—if you get that case –go for it ..it. is rare
And if it were not -I would say ;rule 7 dates or 27 dates whatever you think works for you to get love and admiration in the way you want it
September 28 at 11:09am · Delete
Scott MacWhinnie
Scott MacWhinnie
You should hit it Cass
September 28 at 11:26am · Delete
Val ValSecrets
Val ValSecrets
AGREED
September 28 at 11:45am · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
The woman with the seven date rule should get out of the house more often. Maybe if she meets enough people she will learn how to be desirable. She obviously has a few dots missing from her dice.
September 28 at 11:50am · Delete
Val ValSecrets
Val ValSecrets
Safe sex.
September 28 at 11:55am · Delete
Liz Law
Liz Law
some rules to some games are best kept a mystery .
September 28 at 12:15pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
Yes, "mystery" is important. We are not robots!
September 28 at 1:04pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
Sex can never be completely safe. It can steal your heart.
September 28 at 2:08pm · Delete
Elke Marks
Elke Marks
'Rules' are ridiculous. Every guy and every situation is different. They should go with the flow and do it when it feels right, not when you've been on a certain number of dates.
September 28 at 2:17pm · Delete
Sharine Mohamed
Sharine Mohamed
I agree!
September 28 at 2:37pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
I can just imagine, if the 7-date person would ever get to 7 dates, the stress during the sixth date would be huge. It would be something like the elimination drama (with spooky music) on Dancing With the Stars.
September 28 at 3:20pm · Delete
Anja Schatzi
Anja Schatzi
great. love it when ppl treat sex as a commodity, and then everyone ends up bitching about each other: men about women, women abut men and other women...
I second Kat on big YAWN. seems like growing up is in order.
September 29 at 1:22pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
Sex IS a commodity. We are all apes. If the sex is good there probably will not be too much "bitching". Love-making is a much better endeavor.
re: Bitching - People bitch about others regardless of gender. People like to "bitch" about everything.
September 29 at 6:02pm · Delete
Anja Schatzi
Anja Schatzi
Andrew, full of generalizations. Like they say, to each his own.
September 29 at 6:03pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
We can only talk in generalizations here. Facts based on research are all that we have when we are not talking about an individual. In my coaching practice, I always advise my client that they are unique. We are all different from each other. However, biology is factual and shows us the other side of the coin. We are also very biologically similar. We all came out of Africa. We all like sex. We all have the same "basic" needs. So, we have here an oxymoron. WE are unique AND we're the same!
September 29 at 6:26pm · Delete
Anja Schatzi
Anja Schatzi
Andrew, i beg to differ. if we can only talk about generalizations, then why is it only one type of generalizations - yours? "facts based on reserach", as you put it (if we are, in fact, talking about science, not just babbling to impress) are about all possible variations in trends and patterns.
In your coaching practice you probably couldnt fail ... Read Morebut notice that people have different systems of values, and some are more evolved. others are more basic. Thus, the fact that we all have the same "basic needs" doesnt indicate that we are all functioning at the level of those basic needs.This does not need any particualr advice.
thus - no,we do not have any oxymorons here with regards to Cass' topics, , unless you are intentionally trying to compare apples to oranges.
September 29 at 6:39pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
"Generalizations" by definition cannot be mine. Otherwise we would not call them generalizations. It's common knowledge that scientific research continues to reveal hard data about the human condition. Kinsey and others have presented information about relationships that we have learned. It's not my own info. that I'm babbling about. If you have ... Read Moreadditional info., I'm all ears. If this discussion makes you "YAWN", why are you participating? I find the subject fascinating. Why don't you express your opinion about the 7-date rule? It would help me to understand your point of view.
September 29 at 9:46pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
re: "Thus, the fact that we all have the same "basic needs" doesnt indicate that we are all functioning at the level of those basic needs." - I'm not sure I understand your meaning in that remark. If we all need food, clothing, shelter, sex, friends, etc. how can we reasonably function in our society? Please advise.
September 29 at 9:54pm · Delete
Anja Schatzi
Anja Schatzi
Andrew, let's not be coy and pick on semantics. Clearly by "your" generalizations i meant the ones you endorce.
what kind of scientific research presents "hard data"? Empirical - yes. Hard? there are new discoveries made all the time, which complete, enhance, and change our understaning.
so, what additional info are you talking about, really? ... Read Moreadditional to what? you expressed your opinion - i did express mine. about the fact that "women should have sex" or "should not have sex". and i was quite clear, sorry you dont understand, as well as I am sorry if you need "yes" or "no" about the 7-date rule. My YAWN was exactly about such a simplicity and even primitivism adult people choose to apply when they dont grasp the complexity of life which, in my turn, i find fascinating. i hope we can leave it at this.
September 29 at 9:55pm · Delete
Anja Schatzi
Anja Schatzi
Andrew, as far as your latest post... Jeez... i dont know how much more clear i can be. or should i even try?
here. Some choose to function at that level while having options to go further. others evolve beyond. i really dont have time for this. may be some other time.
September 29 at 10:00pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
Which "scientific data" that I presented is not hard data? I may be wrong. Please advise.
September 29 at 10:09pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
re: "may be some other time." - Okay ...goodnight. Thanks for the conversation.
September 29 at 10:43pm · Delete
September 28 at 1:03am via Facebook for iPhone · Comment · Like / Unlike
You, Van Nguyen and Geoffrey J Gowey like this.
Anonymous
The longer you go without sex the more you telegraph: "I don't really have anything to offer you and as soon as you have sex with me you'll realize that."
September 28 at 1:09am · Delete
Anonymous
i love it. but the key here is "if we end up having sex and he never calls me back, thank god I didn't waste more than 1 date on this judgemnetal prude" making the assumption that this is a girl who knows how to "deliver" high octane lovin'. if you can't deliver in the bedroom - you better be waering thousand dolllar shoes. (thats a joke) there's no substitute for great sex.
September 28 at 1:35am · Delete
Cass Almendral
Cass Almendral
A woman once told me that since we'd be risking our lives by having sex i'd better be serious. Hence the rules!
September 28 at 1:49am · Delete
Kat Hollander
Kat Hollander
yawn...
September 28 at 1:52am · Delete
Geoffrey J Gowey
Geoffrey J Gowey
"risking our lives"? was she afraid her husband was going to walk in with a shotgun?
September 28 at 1:56am · Delete
Cass Almendral
Cass Almendral
Kat, I take it "yawn..." means you're with the 7 date rule.
September 28 at 2:03am · Delete
Anonymous
why base actions on some archaic societal standard? allow the relationship to reveal itself - it may take a man 1 date, or it may take 10. my thought is that there should be no standard.
September 28 at 2:12am · Delete
Anonymous
I disagree with Melcolm...the longer you wait, the better the...you know what :)
September 28 at 5:12am · Delete
Alayna Tagariello Francis
Alayna Tagariello Francis
Geoffrey: risking your life - AIDS? STDs//??? hello?
September 28 at 7:05am · Delete
Olga Viakhireva
Olga Viakhireva
It all depends what you want
I assume most women wants to be loved or at least admired (could be for one night or many nights as long as you feel amazing energy- it works for a women)
However very rare the energy and chemistry connects in that way of amazing attaction and passion from the first sight – may be on scale from 1-100 –it Is 1 out of ... Read More100—if you get that case –go for it ..it. is rare
And if it were not -I would say ;rule 7 dates or 27 dates whatever you think works for you to get love and admiration in the way you want it
September 28 at 11:09am · Delete
Scott MacWhinnie
Scott MacWhinnie
You should hit it Cass
September 28 at 11:26am · Delete
Val ValSecrets
Val ValSecrets
AGREED
September 28 at 11:45am · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
The woman with the seven date rule should get out of the house more often. Maybe if she meets enough people she will learn how to be desirable. She obviously has a few dots missing from her dice.
September 28 at 11:50am · Delete
Val ValSecrets
Val ValSecrets
Safe sex.
September 28 at 11:55am · Delete
Liz Law
Liz Law
some rules to some games are best kept a mystery .
September 28 at 12:15pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
Yes, "mystery" is important. We are not robots!
September 28 at 1:04pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
Sex can never be completely safe. It can steal your heart.
September 28 at 2:08pm · Delete
Elke Marks
Elke Marks
'Rules' are ridiculous. Every guy and every situation is different. They should go with the flow and do it when it feels right, not when you've been on a certain number of dates.
September 28 at 2:17pm · Delete
Sharine Mohamed
Sharine Mohamed
I agree!
September 28 at 2:37pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
I can just imagine, if the 7-date person would ever get to 7 dates, the stress during the sixth date would be huge. It would be something like the elimination drama (with spooky music) on Dancing With the Stars.
September 28 at 3:20pm · Delete
Anja Schatzi
Anja Schatzi
great. love it when ppl treat sex as a commodity, and then everyone ends up bitching about each other: men about women, women abut men and other women...
I second Kat on big YAWN. seems like growing up is in order.
September 29 at 1:22pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
Sex IS a commodity. We are all apes. If the sex is good there probably will not be too much "bitching". Love-making is a much better endeavor.
re: Bitching - People bitch about others regardless of gender. People like to "bitch" about everything.
September 29 at 6:02pm · Delete
Anja Schatzi
Anja Schatzi
Andrew, full of generalizations. Like they say, to each his own.
September 29 at 6:03pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
We can only talk in generalizations here. Facts based on research are all that we have when we are not talking about an individual. In my coaching practice, I always advise my client that they are unique. We are all different from each other. However, biology is factual and shows us the other side of the coin. We are also very biologically similar. We all came out of Africa. We all like sex. We all have the same "basic" needs. So, we have here an oxymoron. WE are unique AND we're the same!
September 29 at 6:26pm · Delete
Anja Schatzi
Anja Schatzi
Andrew, i beg to differ. if we can only talk about generalizations, then why is it only one type of generalizations - yours? "facts based on reserach", as you put it (if we are, in fact, talking about science, not just babbling to impress) are about all possible variations in trends and patterns.
In your coaching practice you probably couldnt fail ... Read Morebut notice that people have different systems of values, and some are more evolved. others are more basic. Thus, the fact that we all have the same "basic needs" doesnt indicate that we are all functioning at the level of those basic needs.This does not need any particualr advice.
thus - no,we do not have any oxymorons here with regards to Cass' topics, , unless you are intentionally trying to compare apples to oranges.
September 29 at 6:39pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
"Generalizations" by definition cannot be mine. Otherwise we would not call them generalizations. It's common knowledge that scientific research continues to reveal hard data about the human condition. Kinsey and others have presented information about relationships that we have learned. It's not my own info. that I'm babbling about. If you have ... Read Moreadditional info., I'm all ears. If this discussion makes you "YAWN", why are you participating? I find the subject fascinating. Why don't you express your opinion about the 7-date rule? It would help me to understand your point of view.
September 29 at 9:46pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
re: "Thus, the fact that we all have the same "basic needs" doesnt indicate that we are all functioning at the level of those basic needs." - I'm not sure I understand your meaning in that remark. If we all need food, clothing, shelter, sex, friends, etc. how can we reasonably function in our society? Please advise.
September 29 at 9:54pm · Delete
Anja Schatzi
Anja Schatzi
Andrew, let's not be coy and pick on semantics. Clearly by "your" generalizations i meant the ones you endorce.
what kind of scientific research presents "hard data"? Empirical - yes. Hard? there are new discoveries made all the time, which complete, enhance, and change our understaning.
so, what additional info are you talking about, really? ... Read Moreadditional to what? you expressed your opinion - i did express mine. about the fact that "women should have sex" or "should not have sex". and i was quite clear, sorry you dont understand, as well as I am sorry if you need "yes" or "no" about the 7-date rule. My YAWN was exactly about such a simplicity and even primitivism adult people choose to apply when they dont grasp the complexity of life which, in my turn, i find fascinating. i hope we can leave it at this.
September 29 at 9:55pm · Delete
Anja Schatzi
Anja Schatzi
Andrew, as far as your latest post... Jeez... i dont know how much more clear i can be. or should i even try?
here. Some choose to function at that level while having options to go further. others evolve beyond. i really dont have time for this. may be some other time.
September 29 at 10:00pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
Which "scientific data" that I presented is not hard data? I may be wrong. Please advise.
September 29 at 10:09pm · Delete
Andrew Abrams
Andrew Abrams
re: "may be some other time." - Okay ...goodnight. Thanks for the conversation.
September 29 at 10:43pm · Delete
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